Guilt and Conflict

Guilt and Conflict

Root Chakra card from Carol Herzer

Over the summer, I’m planning to dive deep into the chakras – long one of my favourite topics. I even have a Chakra Magic ebook available through Payhip 🙂

To start this off, today’s tapping session is on releasing guilt and fear of confrontation. That might not scream Root Chakra to everyone. However, the Root Chakra is associated with feelings of safety and belonging. And if you have a fight with someone, that can challenge both of those.

To avoid that kind of confrontation, you may find yourself apologising for things that aren’t your fault. A very simple example of this is apologising to someone who barges you on the street. That is just the tip of the iceberg, though.

In one of those bizarre twists that the human brain comes up with, it is possible to take on guilt and responsibility for things that really don’t lie within your hula hoop. It might seem weird to actually feel guilty for something that is someone else’s responsibility, or caused by social mores. And yet it makes sense. If you take on guilt feelings, you will spend your energy on worrying about your role. Instead of challenging or confronting that other person, or taking up a protest placard, you put the emphasis on what you should have done differently. It keeps you safe, but also inactive.

In some ways, staying safe is no bad thing. Yet, taking on guilt that doesn’t correspond to your actions means you are also causing yourself unnecessary stress. That guilt triggers the stress hormone cortisol, just as much as more instant and reactive fear would. Taking on unnecessary guilt damages your body from the inside out, as well as leaving your mind whirring with useless worries. Altogether, not a good price to pay for belonging, when there are other options!

In this tapping video, the suggestions are that instead you could tap on your own emotions – perhaps anger or resentment – in order to return to a sense of calm and forgiveness. You can also prepare yourself for a solution-focused conversation, rather than fearing you’ll just jump feet first into a confrontation.

4 Comments

  1. Beverly King on July 17, 2018 at 12:54 pm

    Sometimes we want to belong so badly (and fear cutting those ties) that we will pretend to agree with the ethics, beliefs, and actions of others. I can feel my cortisol levels rising just thinking about it.

    • Chloe on July 17, 2018 at 1:58 pm

      Ha ha, yes, cortisol does spike up when we go against our beliefs, doesn’t it? I think this is a big thing especially for teens, but we can all fall into it.

      I think it’s important to realise, too, that it’s not always just about pretending.

      I had this happen last week: my husband was supposed to pick up our little one on Thursday, which he doesn’t normally do. We talked about it the previous Sunday, and I mentioned it again on Wednesday. Thursday afternoon I got a voicemail from nursery saying ‘Are you ever going to pick your son up?’ (I’m paraphrasing on the rude side). I freaked and called my husband to check if he’d picked him up yet (which he still hadn’t). He rushed off to do it, and I headed home as fast as I could. All the while, I was thinking ‘I should have reminded him this morning, this is all my fault.’ I wasn’t pretending, but if I had just straight-up blamed my husband that could have caused issues. So, avoiding conflict… :/

  2. Beverly King on July 17, 2018 at 6:46 pm

    In my case, it is also about ‘going along to get along’ with family.
    I can almost feel the jolt you must have felt when they called you. (((C)))

    • Chloe on July 18, 2018 at 9:56 am

      Yeah, family… I guess it doesn’t matter if you’re a teen or a grandma, family wreak their own special brand of havoc 😉
      (((Thanks)))

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